Friends Connections

We all have friends. Some we cherish from childhood that are usually only a phone call away, while others drift in and out of lives from time to time. Why is it that some people we connect with others and others seems so distant? Is it something in their personality or something in their chemistry? I have often heard that pheromones play a role in it. I have also heard that someone's zodiac may contribute as well. Interestingly enough, three of my closest friends upon first meeting them, I didn't like them. It was like nails on the chalkboard. They were "know it alls", they were loud and annoying, and they voiced their opinions. Now for the sake of keeping them as friends and avoiding my tires being slashed anytime soon, I refuse to name them online. However, recognizing these traits about them, was I drawn to them or them to me. I'm a libra. I make peace with everyone and hate disruption. I have been told, I give a calming nature to people and appreciate the compliment. I have to admit though, it can be exhausting. Taking on others emotions or people the verbal punching bag can be hurtful to me. When do I get to voice my emotions? When do I get to verbally unload my frustrations? Well, I haven't found the safest place yet, but I do find writing, journaling, and painting really helps me. I haven't picked up a brush in a very long time, but I think that will change vey soon. As far a writing, well, you're reading it right now. Thank you. I cherish everyone that comes into my life, especially those that occasionally take a moment out of their day to send me a message and say, "Hi, I was just thinking of you".

If Just Only I Could

Do the words you choose determine your personality?

How many times has someone reading your work ever comment it sounds "weak"? Did you happen to use the word, "only" or "just"? Don't feel alone. I do it all the time without knowing. You see, I just don't know of another way to say things. See! I just used it. Dang it! I used it again. Now, read back over the previous few sentences and see if removing the word, "just" will still give the sentence the same meaning. Does this mean the person is weaker and the writer doesn't think very strongly of themselves? During my time attending CoDA meetings (Codependents Anonymous), someone may say they "only need a little attention", or if they could "just get their spouse to behave". In a group setting with other people sharing, the use of the words "only" and "just" stood out more than others. Here, we could quickly sense when the person sharing was thinking little of themselves and thought more of another person. We could also quickly identify when a person was wishing or thought they could control someone else. After a few meetings, you noticed yourself saying the same things in conversation. Wow! Could I think so little of myself that someone else was worth more. Duh, why was I at the meeting to begin with? I'll save that story for an entire chapter of my book, or rather an entire book in itself. For now, it's a work in progress. Now, don't get me wrong. There is nothing weak or belittling of someone attending a 12-step program. If you know me well, you know that I can recite the 12-steps and the 12-traditions in my sleep. This topic will definitely be another chapter in the book. The point is that as an academic writer now and in the future, the words "just" and "only" may appear too weak and may not give the effect desired. My hopes are that I will have a good balance of academic and "fun" writing, so all those "justs" and "onlys" pent up inside me can bust out of my head without reserve.